I have to admit, secrets are one thing I absolutely despise. I try to live my life as an open book, simply because the very word “secret” just means lies and deceit to me.
Of course, there are good secrets like, perhaps, a nice surprise for someone. But the majority of secrets seem to be based upon the need of an individual or corporation to hide something from people that they know will be ill received.
For example, I know a person who tells his wife that he isn’t seeing anyone else, but tells his girlfriend of several years that he doesn’t even speak to his wife anymore. At the moment, the UK Government seems to be playing this same sort of game too, between us and the EU. Crooks and criminals keep secrets in the hope that they won’t ever get caught. And, of course, there is the favourite classic… “Does my bum look big in this?”
Obviously, some people can’t handle the truth. For me, personally, I have a huge problem with other people deciding how much of a situation I should be told about. If you have a problem, just give me the whole story and let me process the important bits of information, the bits that matter to me, not the bits that you think will save your ass for another day.
It’s a simple fact of life. I remember my dear Mum had a saying, “You can fool all the people half the time, and half the people all the time but you can’t fool all the people all the time!” How true this is.
We live in a world that encourages people to lie and cheat their way through exams, job interviews and the like. Whatever happened to good old fashioned honesty?
But, I digress… Secrets, specifically within a relationship, are just an absolute no for me. I do it now, on the odd occasion, simply because the other person treats me the same way, except that’s not occasionally, it’s all the time. I have nothing to hide these days, there seems little point in deceit. The truth, however ugly it is, is the only way to help others to understand where things go wrong in their lives. I’m no exception. It’s no good telling me something I’ve made is absolutely fabulous, then going off and telling others it’s crap. I lose respect for people when they behave in such a manner.
Clearly, my biggest issue with secrets is simply that I’ve come to associate them with negative things because all they’ve ever been meant to do is hide the truth. I am quite sure that, had I known the truth in some situations, my life would be much different now than it is.